I Don’t Want to Be Loved - Chapter 214
Rihanna’s face was as pale as a sheet. She was lying in bed while a doctor was examining her for the second time.
“Both the mother and child are fine, you don’t have to worry so much about them.”
Igor let out a relieved sigh. However, he still looked anxiously at the doctor while waiting for the examination to finish.
“However, you must let the Queen rest without any complications from now on, regardless of what happens.”
“Will she be ok if she rests?”
“Yes. Please, do not give any additional stress to the Queen such as now. Of course, she must rest her body as well.”
When the doctor left, Igor, Basil and Mrs. Cessly moved to the adjacent room, where they sat silently for a while. Basil and Mrs. Cessly would occasionally steal some glances at Igor, but none of them dared say anything.
They couldn’t really tell what Igor was thinking from his stoic expression alone. In the end, Mrs. Cessly couldn’t stand the silence any longer and lightly stepped on Basil’s foot. Basil gave her an annoyed glare and cleared his throat, but before he could say anything, Igor spoke first.
“Danil Lyurik’s corpse. Did you get rid of it?”
Basil was actually quite happy of being asked about this topic rather than something else, so he replied enthusiastically. If it was something related to work, he’d happily speak of the issue at length.
“We’ve seized the body for now. We tried to keep alive some of his subordinates, but they all committed suicide. We were planning on sparing at least one… but it was not possible. It seems like they’d planned on killing themselves anyway incase their plan failed.”
“…and the Crown Prince will pretend he knew nothing of this.”
That was quite clear from the looks of it. Since the plan failed, they all sealed their lips forever. Even If Igor demanded compensation from Chrichton for this murder attempt, they’d only pretend that it was all Danil’s idea, and that they had nothing to do with it.
“But we cannot let this slide. Regardless of what happens, we must demand an appropriate compensation for the Queen’s assassination attempt!”
Mrs. Cessly spoke those words in a fit of fury but Basil knew best. The Crown Prince would not admit to his crimes, so the only way for Chrichton to pay an appropriate compensation would be through war.
War wasn’t a trivial matter. People would only go to war once they’ve accepted to sacrifice many lives in the process. The fact that they were victorious during the first war with almost no casualties could only be considered a miracle. But this time it would be different. The Queen was had Chrichton blood on her. If she tried seeking revenge for what they did to her, it would only put her in a more unfortunate position.
“We’ll make sure they pay the appropriate price.”
A low growl came from Igor’s mouth. Basil felt frightened by Igor’s words. He thought that perhaps the King had lost his senses because of what happened to his Queen.
“Your Majesty, war is not a joke…”
“That man will definitely pay for what he’s done. And I’ll make sure he pays the price I want.”
Igor didn’t mean war. Basil didn’t know what he wanted, but it seemed like he had a plan.
“Make sure to follow the appropriate measures to deal with this issue. There’s no need to go out and attack them if they don’t want to admit their crimes.”
“Make sure Count Clovis and Leticia’s trials go smoothly. There’s no need to hold them back any longer.”
“Also, for a while, I’ll personally take care of Rihannan.”
Mrs. Cessly’s eyes widened with surprise. “Take care of her? Your Majesty, will you look after the Queen yourself?”
“I won’t only take care of her till she recovers. I will also be by her side and take care of her every need. So, Basil, please take care of everything in my stead for the time being. Postpone any important issue all you can, unless it’s an emergency.”
Basil was also surprised, but simply nodded. “Understood.”
“But, Your Majesty…” Mrs. Cessly was still worried. “I understand you are concerned, but I’m afraid you’ll harm your own health like this. If I did anything wrong to displease you, please…”
“I’m not doing this because I’m angry at you.” Igor smiled bitterly. “There was a time in the past in which Rihannan suffered a lot, much more pain than one would suffer in a lifetime. Back then, I was not by her side to take care of her. If things take an unexpected turn… then, there would be consequences, if you understand what I mean.”
Even though the doctor had clearly said that there would not be any issues as long as Rihannan got some rest, Igor was worried. Rihannan had never had a peaceful day in her life, not a single day in which she could be absolutely relaxed and comfortable. What’s more, the memory of losing their child from their past life was still haunting Igor’s mind, so he was deeply paranoid of the same events repeating again.
He had no power to stop the probability of Rihannan losing her child in this lifetime due to stress. However, he knew that this time he could at least be by her side. If she miscarried again, then this time he’d at least be by her side to share the grief rather than letting her wallow in pain all by herself.
Mrs. Cessly bowed to Igor. “Yes, Your Majesty. I’ll follow your orders.”
Once both Basil and Mrs. Cessly left the room, Igor went back to Rihannan. He looked at her sleeping face for a while. It seemed as though she’d fall deeper into her bed till she eventually disappeared completely. This illusion was reinforced by her pale white face and her flowing silver hair.
Igor spent the whole day by Rihannan’s side. Time went by, night arrived and the moonlight illuminated their room.
While Igor observed Rihannan as quietly as he could, barely moving and trying to mute his own breathing, he fervently wished for this tranquility to never end. If Rihannan lost her child again, their relationship would crumble irreparably forever. Even if Igor wanted to selfishly hold on to her for himself, he wouldn’t have any reason nor right to force her against her will.
Rihannan had originally wished to leave this country with her baby after learning that Igor had also turned back in time. She had also fainted after hearing the truth of her past life. Would her heart ever heal after all these?
Just then, a low moan escaped her lips. Rihannan opened her eyes slowly while Igor approached her.
“Rihannan, are you awake?”
Her half-asleep eyes darted to him. After staring intently at him for a while, her face contorted in fear and horror.
Rihannan deliriously tried getting up from bed to escape Igor.
Igor grabbed Rihannan by her shoulders and locked her in his embrace in an attempt to calm her down. However, she was still trembling with fear.
“So… so much blood…”
“Blood? there’s no blood. You fainted and lost consciousness for a while, that’s it.”
Rihannan fiercely shook her head. “No! I definitely say blood! I saw a lot of blood flowing from between my legs after I fell…”
Only then did Igor realize that Rihannan was confusing reality with a dream. He bit his lips, took Rihannan’s hand and carefully placed it on her stomach.
“Feel it yourself. Your baby is still safe and sound inside you.”
Rihannan began rubbing her belly, Igor’s hand still covering hers. Seeing as she was calming down a bit, Igor said. “However, the doctor specifically said you must be careful. It will be best if you rest in bed for the time being.”
Rihannan looked at Igor for a while when tears suddenly dropped down her cheeks.
“This is all my fault.”
“It wasn’t your fault that you fell down the stairs. It was my incompetence. I should have made sure that my mother could not enter our room and… I was careless again.”
“No, that’s not the problem.” Rihannan sobbed loudly. “Actually, I can’t stop thinking I don’t need this child. I can’t take him with me nor take care of him as he grows up, so I feel like I shouldn’t develop any attachment to him. I’ve tried… I’ve tried not developing any feelings for this baby while thinking that. Even if it was for the best, I kept thinking that I would get rid of this baby soon… I thought that even from the early stages of pregnancy…”
Igor’s expression turned dark. The fear she’d been feeling all this time was caused by him since he was the one who told her she’d have to leave the baby behind if she were to leave for Chrichton.
Rihannan continued crying on the bed. Igor wanted to tell her to stop crying since it would be harmful for the baby, but he stopped himself. He knew she’d blame herself even more if he said that.
Igor reached out his hand carefully. He thought she’d push him away, but instead, she grabbed his hand quickly and held on firmly. She raised her voice while crying.
“I’m scared. I’m scared of losing this baby again, just like back then.”
“That will not happen. The doctor said it will be alright.”
Igor dried the tears from her cheeks.
“There was blood flowing nonstop in my dream, but there was nothing I could do about it so I tried looking for you. I was running around, hating you and cursing your name when I woke up. I didn’t know… all this time, I didn’t know you also suffered while being unable to come see me.”
“This time, I’ll be by your side. Always. I will not leave you alone, so relax and have some rest.”
Rihannan nodded. Her blue eyes, wet with tears, simply stared at him in silence for a while. Then, her eyes started slowly closing. Little by little, she fell deeper into her slumber. Igor tried letting go of her hand so she could sleep more comfortably but even deep asleep, Rihannan would not let go of him.
Igor gave up on letting go of her hand and simply laid down next to her. He turned his head to look at her, closed his eyes and thought “What can I do for her from now on?”